We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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