Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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