You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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