Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I didn't shave. On purpose
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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