i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
