I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
