I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize