I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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