walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Randomize
