who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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