careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
