I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize