OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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