Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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