rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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