I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
