Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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