My nipple is on Facebook.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
