I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
