its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
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Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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