I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
