the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
