I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
