yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
