So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
