Me too!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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