It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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