12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Actions speak louder than pants.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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