So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
