In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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