the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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