He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
