I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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