I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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