I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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