Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
