Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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