i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
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Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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