dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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