does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
