New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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