sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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