Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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