There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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