so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
