You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
