Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
