He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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