I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
