I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
