pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
