ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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