he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass