Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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