I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
is that a dick in a sweater?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.