my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize