i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
