see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
