Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
