i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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