Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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