Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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