it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
