What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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