Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
