Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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