I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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