Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
