i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
ttyl tear gas
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
