There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
