No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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