I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
