So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
