We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
